I guess I have lessons In life tell me I need to think deeper about situationsthings are going to be better. I promise
People who can keep their cool when being told off or made fun of are not to be messed with
Can’t help it. I’ve lost what i had but trying get to get back is harder. Through the days it is harder to listen act and support...
I can finally relax, but I’m without my beau. I don’t know what to do with myself and the pain is getting to me. I can’t get anything situated at my place until my roommate moves out, so I’m just sitting here… doing nothing… with a grumbling tummy. I miss him already. I know I’ll see him tomorrow, but the fact that he isn’t coming back makes me super depressed. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him supporting me. I need his hugs. I need his kisses. He’s the one that makes me feel better, and a phone call isn’t going to make my life better. I need him here. I hope we can both get jobs soon so he can move back up here and get an apartment with me. I won’t be able to stand 10 weeks without him. I know I sound dependent and young, but he has made my life so worth-while and happy. He’s the one that helps me when I’m hurting or sick. He makes sure I don’t move a muscle on my bad days. And, he cooks for me lol. I think I’ll starve.. since I already am! I haven’t eaten like all day, and didn’t notice until I was leaving for my night class. I have a long drive tomorrow, going back home to Illinois. At least he’ll be with my most of the time. I just need to breathe.
Today, at around 5-6 a.m. I woke up feeling the overwhelming urge to puke my guts out. Of course, I didn’t at the time. It took my a while to fall back asleep and for my stomach to feel a little normal. Before that I had only around 3 hours of sleep because of a headache that kept me up. Then I went to class, and instantly felt that damn feeling again, along with cold sweats (cold skin, but sweating really bad). I barely made it to the bathroom at the beginning of class, puked my guts out (first ever in public), took my test, left and puked AGAIN while driving (good thing I had a brown paper bag lol), so then I slept and my babe got home and brought me squirt, I slept some more… and now all those feelings are gone… okay?? Now my tummy feels empty :[ boo. I absolutely hate these violent attacks of tummy problems.
Okay, so I’m stressed out. My boyfriend has to move back home because of his horrible, bitch of a mother. And, I have finals next week. I just want all this to go away. I probably have a UTI and my uncle died on Tuesday. This has been a horrendous week! Not to mention my Fibro symptoms are going crazy!
I hope everyone is doing well, and enjoying the holidays.
I’m doing pretty good. I’ve been having what seems like heart palpitations for the past three days, and i’m not too happy about it. I’ll go into the doctor sometime next week, not sure when. I spent most of the day with my mom’s side of the family and had a good time :] and had lots of good food. I just wish I could spend the holidays with my beau :/
Well, my clumsy self fell down the stairs last night :/ I landed right on my butt and now my tailbone hurts. It’s probably the most awkward and annoying pain I’ve ever had lol. I’m sure I bruised my tailbone, yippee… not. But, other than that, I’m doing pretty good. I’ve had a relaxing day. Spent part of the night (before the fall) bowling with my friend. I had a really good time, although I was hurting after 5 frames. Being home is nice, but I do miss my babe. I’m looking for a job and hopefully I get one soon so that I can get an apartment with my babe and our friend. Wish me luck! I have to call my doctor at some point to get put on the next meds on the list since those last ones didn’t work. I just hope I don’t have to go in, because I hate going in :[ I would love to go on the MitoSynergy because I have looked into it and even looked at peoples’ youtube videos about it. It has helped so many people… but it’s too expensive for me right now. But, if you want to look into it go to youtube, there a quite a few videos by different people that have been helped by MitoSynergy.
I hope everyone is well, and is enjoying the holiday season!
Well, it’s winter break and I’m back home for 3 weeks. I spent a week with my babe and had a wonderful time with him. He is amazing. I’ve been having pains here and there and sitting on the train for 4 hours yesterday killed my hips and knees. I’ve been exhausted for more than a few weeks, and yesterday made it worse. I hate traveling here because it takes way too long for me. So, now I’m home after taking my brothers to see “Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked” It was absolutely adorable. It’s Conan time, now :] such a good movie.
Well, after a rough morning (because my roommates didn’t clean shit!) so I could check out and leave… I finally got to my babe’s dad’s place. It took a while and my legs were killing me, but then I got my nap and I was happy :] Now, I’m in McD’s and had some awesome nugs :] (chicken nuggets) and sitting with my honey :]
Life is good.
I’m still sick (not surprising). And I feel like I got hit by a truck.. over and over… and over. I didn’t want to wake up today, but I had my A&P lecture final :[ But, I got that over with (85%). Now, I am eating ramen (survival of a college kid), and then I’m taking a very long… much needed nap :] With my babe, of course. I love him so much, and he has been so helpful and supportive. Even when I’m coughing my lungs out right next to him in bed… he’s still there wanting to know if I’m okay and if I need anything. He’s such a sweetheart.
I’ve been sick for about 2 weeks now. My cough is ridiculous and once I start, I can barely stop. I would love to get over this before break. And, I would love to feel somewhat refreshed when I wake up in the morning. But, no… I feel like shit every time I wake up. BOO
So, it’s finals week. I had my first final (lab practical) today and my last day of psychology was today (yay). tomorrow is my anatomy lecture final and then Thursday is my Medical Terminology final. Then I’m off to the babe’s hometown for a week :D But, I have so much shit to do before then. We have to clean up our house and get rid of all the food :/ that is going to be exhausting. Then I have to pack for when I take the train back home from my babe’s house. I don’t even know how much I can take on the train lol. All of that is supposed to last me a month back home! That will be a challenge.
I’m just tired, and I want to sleep for a couple days… that sounds wonderful.
How are y’all doing?
So, I went Black Friday Shopping from 10pm-7am. Then I went to sleep around 8:30am and woke up at 2:30pm. I am exhausted and sick. My throat hurts and I’m sneezy and stuffy. It’s no fun. But, I got what I needed for my babe’s Xmas gift and a little something for my roommates and for our house. And I got a 640GB external hard drive for a steal at Walmart! It was a successful night :] My mom got what she needed too. We went to Walmart, Target, and Menard’s.We did stop by Kohl’s, but there really wasn’t anything worth the ginormous check out lines. My body was already hurting like crazy before the night started, and my hips to my feet were on fire and throbbing by the end of the “night”. But, I’m not feeling too bad anymore - which is surprising. I can’t wait to give my babe his Xmas presents :D I’m really happy with what I got him. Things are going very well with us. And, I love him very much. I didn’t think I could ever feel like this again. But, I have. And I don’t plan on ever letting it go. He’s a keeper! lol
How is everyone doing? Go BFS, and get any good deals?
11/11/11, National Metal Day, Mine and B’s 1 Month, Veteran’s Day.. What else? i bet there’s more! lol
Today, I’m thinking Chinese food with my babe. We don’t get to get out much because of money, but we’re always together. It’s been a while since I’ve been around someone who wants to be around me so often. We see each other every day and I stay at his house every night. I haven’t slept in my own bed at night in like two weeks lol. I’m surprised that someone can be with me so much and not get annoyed with me. I’m happy. I still have depression every once and a while. Almost every day has a low moment. But, I’m getting better. He has been there for me. I even cried on him yesterday. And he had no problems with it. Not that my ex did, but I like how he never said “stop crying”. He just told me everything is okay, and that he’s there for me. I feel very secure. And not pushed into anything, ever. But, I still love my ex.. not in the same way. But as a respect for someone I was with for so long. I hate that things ended the way they did, and I don’t know how to get over that part of my life. Though, of course I’m over him. But, I’m just one big softy.
But, I hope that my boyfriend knows how much I do love him. And, that my ex does not affect how I will ever feel about him.
My hip hurts a bit, but it is definitely bearable. But, my back seems to be in one big knot that I will never get over. And, I have a headache… which might have to do with National Metal Day lmao. Otherwise, today is a pretty good day. And, the sun is out :D it snowed yesterday and that made me very depressed. Cold doesn’t go very good with my body.
I’m scared to go back home. I don’t want more tests and I just want a simple diagnosis. I know what I have and they believe I have fibromyalgia, as well. But, my mother wants a second opinion and I do want an official diagnosis. Just.. not the blood work. Not again. Not all the tests… It sucks.
Well, from what I can tell, hips problems are pretty “normal” for people with fibro. I did get the hip back in place because it feels way better, but it is still acting up and hurting really bad. I don’t know what to do about it. I use a heating pad, which makes it feel better, but there really isn’t much else I can do. I don’t have many pain meds, and I don’t like taking meds anyway, so I’m just waiting it out. IF it still hurts by Thanksgiving break I am going to see if I can go to the doctor to get it checked out, because I can’t stand it anymore.
On the bright side of things… I’m doing really well at college. Classes are reasonably easy and interesting. There is some stress involved, of course, but because of Zoloft I am definitely handling it better. My new boyfriend is great, and we are taking things slow. I get along with him SO well, and I never thought anyone could have so many things in common with me. I’m just very comfortable. I don’t think any of my relationships have gone so smoothly and easy in the beginning like this one. But, I do understand that this is the beginning and things will change and things might not be as they seem, but I’m happy right now. That’s all that matters :]
How’s everyone’s week going?
Wow, I’m moving to another state in THREE DAYS! So much left to do, and I’m super nervous, yet so excited! I got my cartilage pierced on my left ear last night, and I LOVE IT! surprisingly it didn’t hurt and it doesn’t hurt unless I touch it… but still not very much. I hung out with my best guy friend today and of course he says he likes me and wishes he could be with me (I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years). So this is all too much stress for me to deal with right now. He’s a great guy, and I would have dated him any time that I was single… but he never chose then to tell me he likes me. This kind of sucks. But, I love my boyfriend, and so far I’m very happy. We’ll see how this goes!
Pain-wise… My back is killing me from my lower back up my neck. I really don’t want this right now. I hope I can sleep well tonight.