Fighting Fibromyalgia: One Day at a Time.

Well, I worked this weekend. I had a pretty good time. I was SO nervous on my first day, but I got the hang of it and felt pretty good about everything. Every night (after a minimum of 8 hours standing) my feet would hurt SO BAD! Now my feet are okay, after doing nothing all day. But, my knees still hurt pretty bad and I’m exhausted still. I worked open to close three days in a row, so it’s no surprise to be feeling like this. My memorial day consisted of sleeping in (finally!!!), watching TV, napping, and writing a paper. A nice day of relaxation :] Now it’s back to school and stress :/

How was everyone’s weekend/Memorial Day?

I don’t know what my problem is. My fatigue is ridiculous! I can’t even get myself to write my paper. Good thing it isn’t technically due tomorrow. We could choose which day. So, I’m just going to relax and sleep in tomorrow. Hopefully I feel better before the job starts on Friday. I’ll be doing a lot of standing!

Wow, it’s been exactly one year since I started this Tumblr page. It has made quite a difference and I have met many wonderful people. A lot has changed since then. I went from being in an abusive relationship, in Illinois and high school, and being so shallow and boring… to now being engaged to the best man in the world, in Michigan and going to college, and having a new view on the world and life. I can say I am happy. Although I still deal with depression and still mourn my father… I can honestly say that I am happy. I have something to live for. And, I love life. I love the man I am with… with all my heart. This love doesn’t hurt; it lifts me. I love him so much. I was able to spend the weekend with him, and it was wonderful. The best moment was not the hotel room, the movie or the amazing dinner out… it was the moment when we were just laying in each other’s arms; doing absolutely nothing. Fully clothed. We were able to nap, and talk, and laugh. We had everything we needed. I was dehydrated and tired, but I felt amazing. That is what love is. 

On a side note: I’m physically doing okay. A little drained and a little sore from all the driving.. but nothing that can stop me. My brain has also been pretty foggy, but I can’t complain :]

How was everyone’s weekend?

Hey, Hannah! My name is Hannah as well :]

I’m sorry you’re having flare-ups. But It’s good everyone is understanding. That tends to make everything a little better. I haven’t really had any major flare-ups. Now that I’ve had a pretty regular workout routine, I’m actually started feeling a tad better. Although the soreness still creeps up on me. Just a little uncomfortable lately, hard to sit in class. But nothing I can’t handle. 

How long have you been diagnosed? 

Tomorrow I have orientation for my job. This orientation is from 4-7 p.m. :/ I am not looking forward to it. And, I’m nervous about training. But, after that I get a nice getaway weekend with my fiance. We are going to my future hometown to stay. We got a hotel room, going out to dinner and a movie… I’m so excited! We’ve never really been able to do this type of thing before. He finally has a job, so he can spoil me a bit :] It’ll be nice. Just me, him, and two bottles of wine. Sounds like a fabulous weekend to me! I need a break for everything here.

Anyone have some fun weekend plans?

I used to find this site as a release and a place for people to meet and share their stories… and help each other in this fight. Now it’s different. And, I rarely see anyone being nice or being there for each other. It’s all turned into some type of highlight on self harm and destructive behaviors. 

I decided not to work out today. Even though I’m feeling pretty good (not perfect, of course). I didn’t want to overdo myself. I’ll work out tomorrow. My energy just isn’t there right now. I took a nap for I don’t even know how long. I just had one class, and I didn’t do anything at all. But, for some reason I have absolutely no energy. Probably because I couldn’t sleep last night. Maybe I’ll sleep good tonight :]

How is everyone?

All of this crap with my roommate has raised the bar on my anxiety. I had to go out and buy stuff for the kitchen since we aren’t sharing ANYTHING. Which is bullshit. Oh well. But, I’m having anxiety attacks now. This isn’t going to help my situation at all. I’m already in pain from working out, and stressing all week. Now, there’s more to add onto my plate. Like, I seriously feel like every breath isn’t enough, and that oxygen just isn’t reaching anything. My limbs are too weak, that typing this is exhausting. My heart is also racing and thumping so hard that I can feel my pulse without checking it myself. And, I’m getting light-headed. I don’t know how to get out of this! 

Anyone have suggestions for anxiety attacks? Or anxiety itself?

This weekend has been hell. My roommates boyfriend has been here since Thursday, and I want to punch him in the face. I can hear their bed when they have sex from downstairs, which is rude and disgusting. I can’t stand either of them. And, they don’t know how to clean and he doesn’t know how to do anything for himself. I’ve been out of the house as much as I can. But, today I didn’t have much to do. So, to get out of the house I worked out and did laundry. I felt pathetic lol. They are lazy and I can’t stand them. It’s stressing me out and I’ve had a horrible headache. I can’t wait to move out of this house and move in with a different roommate. It will be nice. I can’t handle this stress. Tell her that I wasn’t going to move in with her was the best decision I have ever made. That nasty hick can go to hell for the shit she has put me through. It’s gonna be a rude awakening when she realizes I’m not letting her use my toilet paper or paper towels :] I have way too much pain to deal with this bitch.

I got a job today!!

Yep, I finally have a job. Of course, it isn’t the job I’d like… I’m going to work at another waterpark.. but it is also an amusement park AND I’m not going to be a lifeguard this time! EEEEK! I’m going to work in Merchandise, so I’m excited to get something new under my belt. The interview went very well (obviously).. but it’s the one I actually felt semi-comfortable with! lol. Now, I just need the pain to go away.. along with this damn headache on the right side. AND I got an A- on my Kinesiology midterm! :D

I didn’t work out today, there was no way I could do it today. The pain is ridiculous. I even have this weird nasty purple bruise on my knee and I have no clue why lol. I’ve been so tired. So, today was my kind of lazy day on top of class and studying. I got an awesome review on my second paper (again) so I’m excited about that. I have a midterm tomorrow.. I am NOT excited about that. AND, I have a job interview!! I’m so freakin’ nervous!! I just hope I can get through it and work out after. bleh. OH, and (being the nice roommate I am) I’m signed my roommates overnight guest form for her boyfriend this weekend… and boy am I not happy about seeing his face again so soon. He was just here the weekend before last. Like, seriously? I hate him and her. But, I figured I didn’t want her to be an even BIGGER bitch than she already is… so I signed the damn thing. But, if he pisses me off in the slightest… I will kick his ass out. I am way to stressed and in pain to deal with their shit another weekend.

I’ve been working out more or less 4 days a week for the past couple weeks and boy do i HURT. My abs and sides hurt the most. Every movement hurts :/ When will it go away? bleh..